I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
