i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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