my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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