So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
