Someone shit on the floor
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
