My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
