I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
