we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
fuck your aforementioned shoe
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
