This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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