Midget sex pt 2 tonight
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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