Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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