I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
