Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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