I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
