I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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