I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
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