just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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