My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Randomize