wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
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