I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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