Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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