Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
