It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
