I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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