You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
