What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
