All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
