Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize