Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize