I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
