Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize