i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
