I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
