I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
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