Your dad touched me again.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I think my moral compass just broke
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