I'm gonna have a badass scar
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
