What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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