i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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