so explain again why im purple
no
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
