really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
