Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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