WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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