Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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