I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
