White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
