If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
