Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
