I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
