just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
