I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
