I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
