I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I wish my penis had an off switch
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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