so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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