Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Randomize
