I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
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