i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
