they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize