drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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