I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
